Experts confirm scissors can only do so much.

Juhu — In what sources are calling “a bold but fundamentally misguided initiative,” local student Arnav Sonaghare has reportedly scheduled a haircut this weekend in an ongoing effort to appear even remotely within Kalaver’s aesthetic orbit.

Experts caution that while a haircut may slightly improve Sonaghare’s silhouette, it will not bridge the measurable distance between “guy who tried” and Arnav Kalaver, described by observers as “what mirrors aspire to reflect.”

Kalaver was unavailable for comment, reportedly because he was already effortlessly looking perfect somewhere else.