LEH, LADAKH — In a bold new effort to protect India from the dangers of rational thought, authorities have arrested world-renowned innovator Sonam Wangchuk, charging him with “sedition, excessive decency, and suspiciously peaceful behavior.”
Officials confirmed that Wangchuk, who once built solar-powered schools for tribal children and artificial glaciers for villages, has now been identified as the country’s “most dangerous threat since farmers started asking questions.”
“Freedom is doing exactly what we say, of your own free will,” explained a government spokesperson at a press briefing held in front of a banner reading World’s greatest Democracy. The thought seemed obvious to him.
The Threat of Fasting
According to the official charge sheet, Wangchuk endangered national security by refusing to eat for 15 days, “thereby depriving the nation of calories, which could destabilize the economy.”
Authorities claim the hunger strike was part of a larger conspiracy to overthrow the government using the lethal combination of solar panels, student empowerment, and sustainable farming.
“He started by melting ice, then hearts, and now apparently the state’s patience,” said a visibly rattled police officer. “First it’s glaciers, next it’s governments , where does it stop?”
From Poster Boy to Public Enemy
The same administration that once featured Wangchuk in tourism campaigns now insists he is an “agent of chaos.”
“In 2019 he thanked us. But then he started thinking. That’s where things went wrong,” sighed one BJP official, shaking his head gravely. “We had assumed the gratitude would last forever.”
Wangchuk’s arrest comes under the National Security Act, a law originally designed to detain terrorists but now repurposed for those who make too much sense. Officials said the law ensures India remains a “thinking-free democracy.”
“Let this be a lesson,” said the Home Minister. “Innovation is welcome ; as long as it’s limited to app design.
The Science of Patriotism
Government sources have hinted at possible “foreign links,” citing Wangchuk’s trip to Pakistan years ago, where he allegedly said kind words about peace and climate.
“These are dangerous ideas imported from abroad,” a senior intelligence officer explained. “We must protect India from foreign values like clean air, empathy, and local self-governance.”
Another officer added that the suspect’s solar inventions “showed suspicious signs of brightness,” suggesting possible subversive influence. “Why else would a man want to bring light to dark places? It’s clearly metaphorical.”
National Reaction
Meanwhile, government supporters online have rallied behind hashtags such as #ThankYouModiForTheSilence, #SolarTerrorist, and #MakeProtestsIllegalAgain, arguing that Wangchuk’s arrest will “restore peace, quiet, and unquestioning obedience” to the region.
A spokesperson for the ruling party dismissed public concern, noting:
“The people of Ladakh have always dreamed of being heard and now they are being heard, through the microphones of our police interrogations.”
The administration also clarified that the arrest was not political but “purely scientific.”
“Our experts determined that prolonged exposure to peaceful protest ideas can cause inflammation of the conscience,” said the spokesperson. “We are merely isolating the patient for treatment.”
Future Plans
Sources say the government is now considering a new Innovation Correction Scheme, under which all future inventors will be assigned a minder from the Ministry of Gratitude.
“Before anyone patents a new idea, they must check whether it aligns with national feelings,” said one bureaucrat proudly. “That’s how we’ll the true version of Atmanirbhar Bharat ; self-reliance, without self-awareness.”
Back in Ladakh
As troops patrol the streets and curfews continue, locals say they are confused but not surprised.
“Apparently, we got union territory status so we could practice unity without territory,” said one Leh shopkeeper. “At least now we understand what they meant by ‘strong governance.’ It’s very strong — you can’t move at all.”