New Delhi, February 2025 – In an innovative policy move, the government has announced that instead of reducing fuel prices, citizens should simply “embrace a healthier lifestyle” and walk everywhere.

“People in Europe walk all the time and call it a ‘cultural experience.’ Why can’t we?” said a minister while stepping out of his government-funded luxury car.

To further encourage “fuel independence,” the government has launched the Bharat Walking Mission, complete with an app that rewards users with points for every kilometer they walk. Rumors suggest these points may be redeemable for discounted petrol, though at current prices, you’d need to walk 500 km for one liter.Meanwhile, car owners have started switching to bicycles, and Uber has introduced a new service called Uber Pehiyawali, where passengers can hire people to push their vehicles when they run out of fuel