New Delhi, February 2025 – In an unprecedented turn of events, India’s GDP growth has officially been declared “super chill,” leading to a nationwide sigh of relief as economists, policymakers, and business leaders unanimously agree that there’s really nothing to stress about.
According to the latest reports, India’s economy is growing at a “vibes-based” 6.5%, which experts describe as “not too fast to be scary, not too slow to be depressing—just right.” This Goldilocks-style expansion has led to a relaxed attitude across financial institutions, with the Reserve Bank of India even considering replacing interest rate hikes with a friendly “bro, just go with the flow” policy.
Finance Ministry Introduces ‘Chillnomics’
The Finance Ministry, impressed with the economy’s ability to keep things low-key, has introduced a new school of thought called “Chillnomics.” This groundbreaking approach suggests that instead of stressing about fiscal deficits, inflation, or employment rates, India should simply “trust the process.”
“Why worry about macroeconomic fundamentals when the stock market seems pretty hyped? If you just zoom out, everything looks fine,” explained a senior official while sipping chai and scrolling through Twitter memes about the budget.
To reinforce this relaxed approach, the ministry has proposed replacing GDP forecasts with a nationwide mood tracker. “If people are generally vibing, then that’s all the economic data we need,” said a spokesperson.
Stock Markets: It’s Just a Number, Bro
Even the stock market has embraced the new “chill” economy, with traders now using phrases like “Just let the NIFTY do its thing” and “Sensex is on a self-discovery journey.” Some brokerage firms have even started offering mindfulness sessions for investors, ensuring they remain unbothered even when their portfolios experience “momentary existential crises.”
Corporate India Embraces ‘GDP Zen Mode’
Big businesses have also caught onto the trend, with CEOs now beginning meetings with deep breathing exercises instead of PowerPoint presentations. “Our growth strategy is simple: we align our corporate chakras and let the economy work its magic,” said the head of a major conglomerate, who recently rebranded their quarterly earnings reports as “quarterly affirmations.”
Meanwhile, startups are taking this philosophy to the next level by launching ventures with no actual revenue model but lots of “manifesting energy.” One new-age fintech company, ChillPay, has introduced a revolutionary concept where users can make transactions based purely on good intentions.
Economy in Its ‘Goa Phase’?
As economists around the world struggle to understand India’s unique approach to economic management, insiders insist that the nation is simply in its “Goa phase.” Instead of obsessing over numbers, India has chosen to adopt a relaxed, barefoot-on-the-beach approach to financial planning.
“The GDP will do what the GDP will do. Let’s just enjoy the journey,” said an economist while meditating in a park. And with that, India continues to grow—not too fast, not too slow—just chill.