Bhubaneswar – In a groundbreaking display of crisis management, private institute KIIT has set a new industry standard for student welfare by forcibly evicting Nepalese students after they dared to ask questions about a tragic incident on campus. The institute, which prides itself on being an “international” hub of education, proved its commitment to global harmony by ensuring that foreign students not only receive a degree but also an impromptu adventure tour to the nearest railway station—no tickets included.
Following the tragic suicide of a Nepalese student in her hostel room, KIIT authorities sprang into action with the efficiency of a government office on a Friday afternoon. Instead of addressing student concerns with transparency, the administration reportedly adopted the tried-and-tested method of brute force, employing security guards, staff, and possibly a few overzealous canteen workers to rough up the students before graciously dumping them miles away.
Bureaucratic Ballet: The Art of “Unruly Employee” Management
Odisha’s state government, never one to miss an opportunity for a belated press release, has since directed KIIT to take “prompt action” against “unruly” employees—presumably because there were no synonyms for “violently incompetent.” In a shocking display of accountability, the institute swiftly suspended a grand total of… five people. That’s right, after multiple arrests, viral footage, and diplomatic outrage, KIIT has cracked down hard by sidelining a handful of scapegoats while the rest of the system presumably continues running like a well-oiled bulldozer over student rights.
Meanwhile, the Nepalese government, still trying to process how its students were essentially deported from their own hostels, has raised concerns that unless KIIT actually punishes those responsible, further mistreatment might occur. Given the institute’s track record, this is a fair assumption. If history has taught us anything, it’s that no Indian institution truly believes in fixing a problem when they can just slap a half-hearted apology on it and wait for people to move on.
Apology Issued, Problem Solved (Obviously)
KIIT, recognizing that the time-honored tradition of issuing an apology instantly erases all wrongdoing, has kindly expressed regret for its “staff making some disparaging comments” and for the “distress caused.” A masterclass in damage control, this statement neatly avoids any mention of the evictions, assaults, and general lawlessness displayed on campus. But hey, they said sorry, so why are people still talking about it?
The Future of Student Welfare at KIIT
With only a fraction of Nepalese students returning to campus despite official reassurances, experts predict that KIIT may soon introduce a new slogan: “KIIT: Come for the Education, Stay for the Surprise Field Trips.” Meanwhile, students still on campus remain hopeful that, in the coming weeks, the administration will finally shift its focus from crisis-generation to crisis-resolution. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. One step at a time, folks.