NEW DELHI — In a remarkable display of institutional efficiency, the Lok Sabha has successfully managed to forget that it had already forgotten about the ongoing Manipur conflict. This rare political achievement was reached during a high-energy session where members passionately debated issues of national importance—such as renaming the Indian Ocean, the GST on popcorn, and whether or not Parliament’s AC was set too high.
Government ministers, when asked about the situation in Manipur, responded with a mix of confusion and mild amusement. “Manipur? That sounds familiar. Is that a new infrastructure project?” one MP inquired, flipping through a stack of notes filled with talking points on economic growth and Bollywood box office collections. Another confidently declared, “We are actively monitoring the situation,” before allegedly turning to an aide and whispering, “What situation?”
“We Will Look Into It,” Says Government, Before Looking Elsewhere
Political analysts believe this tactical multi-layered amnesia is part of a time-tested strategy called “Commitment to Forgetfulness.” Under this approach, Parliament vows to address urgent matters but becomes so preoccupied with newer distractions—like pre-election slogans, opposition walkouts, and who gets to sit closest to the Prime Minister—that unresolved crises simply fade into the void.
When pressed for an update on Manipur, a senior minister reassured reporters, “Rest assured, we have a high-level committee investigating this.” Upon further questioning, it was revealed that the “high-level committee” was, in fact, a WhatsApp group created six months ago, currently inactive except for the yearly “Happy New Year” message.
Opposition Outraged, Before Getting Distracted by Own Infighting
Meanwhile, opposition leaders seized the opportunity to slam the government for “criminal negligence and indifference toward Manipur.” Several members staged a dramatic walkout in protest, only to immediately return when they realized that their own press conferences had no air-conditioning.
One senior opposition leader gave a fiery speech, declaring, “We demand answers! We will not let this government run away from accountability!” before abruptly switching topics to the price of caviar in Lutyens’ Delhi.
The Nation Reacts: Mild Concern, Then Back to Work
Across the country, citizens reacted in their usual way—expressing concern about the situation for approximately two and a half minutes before getting back to their daily routines. Social media saw a brief surge in hashtags like #JusticeForManipur and #DoYourJob, but these were quickly overtaken by trending topics like “Bollywood Masala” and “Cricketer Spotted at Airport With Mystery Woman.”
Meanwhile, experts predict that the Manipur issue will return to mainstream political discourse at some point—most likely right before the manipur election, when leaders rediscover it just in time to include it in their campaign speeches. Until then, it remains safely filed away in Parliament’s ever-growing folder of “Things We’ll Address Later, Maybe, If We Remember.”